


Given Time

by LLooper



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gay Male Character, M/M, Mutual Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-12-14 10:41:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21014450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLooper/pseuds/LLooper
Summary: "He wants someone that sees him for who he is and not for what the world tells him he is. Magister, mage, Tevinter...I am Dorian. Focus failing, fleeing.When will he visit me next? I wish we were the same." Cole doesn't look away from the fish in the fountain that seemed to have caught his eye. "Dorian, there's no need...The need is there, always there.Why should I ignore it?""Wait a moment, is this Dorian?" Avi was lost in Cole's rambling. "Are these Dorian's thoughts?""Two sides of the same coin.Will things ever change?" Cole said softly, his voice pure.«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»A story of Avi Lavellan and Dorian Pavus finding something they both dare call love.





	1. Here We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Accidentally deleted this... Anyway, here it is again

Avi thought he'd seen most of Halamshiral, but the days following the attempted assassination of Empress Celene, he had quickly found out how wrong he had been. The place was enormous. Avi gazed out over the city from the balcony of the room he'd gifted himself at a local inn. It was just as much a palace as the actual Winter Palace by his own standards, but it was free of prying nobles wanting nothing more than to know every detail of his private life and free of guards looking over everyone's shoulder like they were still after the Empress's life, and for that Avi was thankful.

Varric had been the one who'd found the inn after some quick inquisition and a few witty comments about how maybe he should be Inquisitor instead. Avi had happily offered Varric the title but the dwarf had graciously declined because apparently he believed the nobles of Orlais couldn't handle so much chest-hair on display at all times. Having been in the presence of said nobles for the little time Avi had been, he was inclined to take Varric for his word.

"Two entire weeks, huh?" Varric said, throwing a red grape into his mouth that popped loudly between his teeth when he bit down on it. He hummed in appreciation. Whether he did so because of the grape or the thought of a two week long vacation, Avi couldn't tell. It was probably because of both.

"I'm new to this whole "being part of a huge organization" thing we have got going on, but I didn't think things like week long vacations in Halamshiral would be part of the deal." Avi admitted across the balcony table from where Varric sat. The simple idea of having close to no obligations for fourteen days sounded impossible, but to have it actually be true? Avi couldn't properly wrap his head around it. He had never had so much free time in his entire life, not in total and definitely not at once. He liked to think he would enjoy it, but part of him feared he would be driven mad with nothing to do.

"It's like Ruffles said, there's things to do, loose ends to tie together. It's going to take two weeks before we can start moving back to Skyhold. Those of us who can't do anything to hurry things along might as well grab some much needed time to ourselves in the meanwhile." Varric popped another grape.

"Two weeks seem like an unreasonable amount of time to tie loose ends together, gather our forces, and whatever else needs to be done, does it not?" Avi shook his head in disbelief. He truly could not fathom things taking so much time. Undoubtedly there were an endless list of things he did not consider that needed to be done for them to be able to leave. He had no doubt Josephine tried to make things as quick and efficient as possible, and if she said it would take two weeks, then Avi would heed her words.

"You know what you need to do, Inquisitor?" Varric leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes, and folded his arms behind his head, clearly quite comfortable.

"I will admit I am at a bit of a loss here but, please, do enlighten me, Master Tethras." Avi humored the man he'd come to call a close friend in what feels like no time at all. Maybe facing people and creatures together everyday that want to kill you brings people closer a bit faster?

Varric smiled with pure content. "You need to relax and stop questioning why you're going to spend two weeks in a place that has nearly everything a man could ever ask for."

Avi tried to mimic Varric and moved down until he sulked in his seat, tilting his head to rest against the back of his gold and velvet chair and letting his eyes close in the warm rays of the setting sun. It was a nice place to have to spend two weeks in, Avi would have to admit. He was offered more free food from vendors walking down a street in Halamshiral than he ate in an entire month. The buildings were beautiful, the service of every establishment was suited for no less than royalty, and he didn't have any duties as far as Josephine had assured him the night before when they'd discussed the situation and their plans for the Inquisition's close future.

"Yohooo!"

Avi pried an eye open at the chirpy voice. Across the balcony, on the rooftop of a neighboring building of the tall inn they stayed at, was Sera. She was holding onto the gilded spear of some rooftop decor and leaning her entire body to the side, waving enthusiastically with her free hand towards Varric and Avi. She had a satchel hanging from her shoulder, one that definitely did not belong to her. Both Avi and Varric were too relaxed to bother questioning who it belonged to.

"Hey there, buttercup." Varric waved back lazily. Sera swirled away from the golden spear, started to sprint, and leapt over the narrow gap between the two buildings, flying over the alleyway where five floors down the people of Halamshiral were passing by. She walked up the narrow roof until she reached the balcony railing.

"I found a merchant, right? Sells fish, sour like it's been crammed inside a barrel in the sun for days. Made me think of Solas, so I nicked the merchant's hat and put the fish in it, so when I found Solas, I threw it at him!" Sera snickered wildly for a few moments before she silenced herself, her left brow raising. "Well, my aim was bad cause I was running, so it landed at his feet, but still a good one."

"You certainly know how to entertain yourself." Varric chuckled shortly before proceeding to grab the whole bowl of grapes to keep it in his lap, saving himself the trouble of having to reach for it every single time he wanted another grape.

"What are you two loons doing?" Sera swung her feet over the stone railing and sat down on top of it, despite the available chairs with velvet cushions right in front of her. "Being boring like a couple of sticks again, just talking and talking like you always do?"

Varric ignored the judgement in her voice. Both him and Avi were more than used to it. "Enjoying life, buttercup. Sitting here, eating and drinking, and not being even a little bit sorry about it. You should try it sometime, not doing anything. I think it would do you some good."

"Bah!" Sera swatted her hand in the air, evidently disagreeing with Varric's suggestion. "I sit still for too long and it feels like I've dipped my legs in an anthill."

"You seen Dorian by any chance, Sera?" Avi changed topic. In the distance, bells started to ring and didn't stop until they'd rang across the city seven times. They startled a flock of doves which took flight, crossing the peachy sky where a few soft clouds drifted past and caught the day's last rays of vibrant sunshine.

"Oh, would you look at that, the mighty Inquisitor swooning over the pretty mage." Sera giggled childishly.

A blur of faint smoke and the subtle glow of magic of breaking between the waking world and the Fade.

"Helpless, hopeful, hoping. _Maybe he sees me if I wear this?_"

Sera screamed in fright by Cole suddenly having appeared cross-legged on the floor between Avi and Varric's seats. She fell backwards, both Avi and Varric tensing in horror until they saw her shoot up to her feet, only having fallen down onto the slim roof stretching past the balcony.

"Get that creepy thing to stop scaring me on purpose!" Sera shouted at Avi, her demand followed by a trail of mumbled—but colorful—curses.

"I don't do it on purpose." Cole defended himself in his usual, soft, tone.

"It's alright Cole." Varric assured the innocent spirit. Avi noted the almost father-like nature Varric fell in to whenever something involved Cole. He had noted it a few times at Skyhold too when it became more obvious than usual. It was sweet, not only to see the two of them having such a great bond together but to see Varric having that guardian instinct behind all that witty humor and persistent sarcasm of his.

"It's not alright!" Sera pouted angrily from the other side of the railing.

"Sera." Avi called for her attention. When she eventually stopped throwing daggers at Cole with her intense staring and turned to Avi, he tried to exhale as visually as he could in hopes that she would follow suite and relax. "Like I said, have you seen Dorian?"

Sera waited to reply, most likely as revenge for both Avi and Varric having defended Cole, but she gave up after a moment and broke the silence. "He's at the stupid palace or whatever. Got himself a right fancy room. Put a pair of boots on his pillow earlier."

"Of course you did..." Avi mumbled to himself, too quiet for Sera to hear but loud enough for Varric to laugh lightly and for Sera to give him a confusing glare.

"I would tell him to come here but he doesn't want to hear me say the words." Cole spoke from where he still sat on the floor.

Avi swallowed down a strange feeling.

Dorian was a spectacular man, both visually and not. It seemed like Avi had been captured by him since they first met in that small chantry in Redcliffe. Avi cared too much for his dignity to try and count the times he'd walked through the bottom floor of the rotunda and glanced up, wanting to go up to Dorian and give him the smoothest line ever that would just hint at what Avi felt. He'd done it too many times. It was so easy to imaine himself doing it. It was a whole other thing to actually do it.

What did he feel? Avi wasn't actually sure he knew the answer to that. All he knew was that Dorian took his breath away merely by existing. Avi would catch Dorian in a certain light or from a certain angle, and he would be left with the same capability of speaking and moving as a statue. The issue wasn't just that Avi lacked the courage to as much as flirt with Dorian, but Dorian also had no idea Avi was actually playing on the same team that Dorian was, as a figure of speech. Avi knew which team Dorian played for, of course. Not only from suspicion but from confirmation when he had followed Dorian to meet with his father and Dorian had openly said it. Ronan still remembered how his stomach had fluttered upon hearing that Dorian preferred the company of men, how he'd suddenly felt this wave of hope wash over him.

As Avi sat there and listened to Cole about how Dorian didn't want to hear "those words"—those words being Avi inviting Dorian out to perhaps eat or share a drink someplace—Avi felt that hope slowly wilting within him as if it was a small flower, his hope a bright light that started to fade.

"Like the sunset before me, everything growing darker, dimmer, but the sun will rise for another day." Cole spoke so quietly Avi thought the spirit had meant for the words only to be heard by Avi for a nice change. Despite the many times Avi and others had tried to tell Cole that some things shouldn't be shared so publicly, the boy just didn't seem to grasp the concept sometimes.

Avi could not deny that Cole could provide with some true words of wisdom, however, and sometimes not even wisdom but just well-needed comfort. How would Avi know how Dorian felt if he never tried to show what he felt himself? Maybe asking Dorian to dinner wouldn't be the end of the world? Dorian might decline, but even though the sun was setting it would rise again, like Cole said. Maybe things would be alright after all?

"You leaving, Lavellan?" Varric asked with the slightest smile. How Varric could read Avi so well was something that Avi didn't think he could ever get used to.

"Yeah, I'm heading on over to the Winter Palace. I have a couple things I wanna ask Cassandra and I'll swing by and see if Dorian is good with being here for two weeks whilst I'm at it." Avi tried to make excuses even thought he was surrounded by the three people that probably saw through his excuses better than anyone else in the Inquisition. Varric could read Avi like one of his own books, Sera knew things she shouldn't be able to know and puzzled everything together, and Cole was... Cole. If there were anyone Avi could save himself the trouble of making excuses for, it was Varric, Cole, and Sera. Probably Iron Bull too, come to think of it. He would be a bad Ben-Hassrath if he couldn't figure out that Avi had a thing for Dorian, truth be told.

Avi parted with his friends. He headed back inside his room which Varric had came to visit. He grabbed his short coat that was thrown on top of the bed, tying the loose belt around his abdomen to keep his coat in check. He ran into Bull and Krem at the first floor of the inn where the tavern was. Bull greeted Avi loudly and cheerfully from across the entire room, earning a few looks from the middle class patriots that filled the place. Avi waved silently back, wishing Bull would have some restraint and not be so embarrassing at the same time as he wished Bull would never change.

The Winter Palace wasn't too far away from the inn where Avi and Varric stayed, but the layout of the city was as winding and intricate as a maze and had it not been for the Inquisition scouts stationed here and there throughout the city to guide him in the right direction, Avi had no doubt he would have reached the palace by midnight. Damning the people who designed the city along the way to the palace helped keep his spirits high, at least, as well as distracting him from having a nervous breakdown.

As soon as Avi started to think about Dorian in any way shape or form, his stomach would tie in knots and those knots would tangle with other knots and by the end of it Avi felt like he would vomit if he didn't stop thinking about it all. One of the Inquisition scouts he'd passed along the way had asked if Avi was feeling alright from what Avi assumed was quite a disheveled look. Avi had almost arrogantly scolded the scout for interfering in matters that he shouldn't concern himself with, but he had had squeezed out an unconvincing 'yes' and moved on before he had made a complete ass out of himself.

"Excuse me." Avi had reached the main entrance of the palace where Inquisition scouts and soldiers mingled amongst palace guards in a mutual interest in defending those inside.

"Inquisitor." A soldier in a group of three greeted him, all three of them bowing their head and placing a clutched fist across their chest.

"Could one of you tell me how to get to Dorian Pavus's room?"

The soldier who had greeted Avi took a step forward to distinguish himself from the two behind him. "I can take you there, if the Inquisitor would like."

"Uh, yes, thank you." Avi agreed, unsure of himself. The special treatment that came with the roll of Inquisitor was something he was still not used to. He followed the soldier that was keen on proving himself nonetheless, walking through the palace Avi had been at the day and night before. The palace staff had done a remarkable job in cleaning things up. That quick work showed especially in the gardens which Avi and the soldier reached after a few minutes of guiding through decorated halls and grand rooms. A day prior and those gardens would have been filled with the bodies of innocent servants and Venatori spies. A day later and those gardens had nobles strolling through them casually as if nothing ever happened.

As someone that had seen first hand what had happened in those gardens, Avi's nose wrinkled in disgust as he saw nobles standing obliviously where blood had stained the ground just hours prior.

"Lord Pavus is up these stairs to the left, Inquisitor." The soldier slowed down by a long set of ivory stairs, leading to a part of the palace that had been closed off during the ball. Avi thanked the soldier for having shown the way and started to descend the stairs. He had only made it halfway up and the soldier had only just started to walk away when Avi came to a screeching stop.

He felt woozy and as if knots were tangling with knots in his stomach again. How could such a simple thing as asking someone to dinner frighten him so. Even more confusing did Avi find it that he could face ancient magisters, Templar's deformed beyond recognition by red lyrium, and leagues of strangely dressed assassins, and not feel like throwing up once, but the thought of speaking to Dorian left him tasting his previous meal in his mouth.

"Come on..." Avi tried to make himself move. He gripped the railing of the stairs and heaved himself up the remaining steps. It felt like the steps just kept coming and that it was taking forever to reach the top. He had to fight the urge to turn tail and run back, making the entire climb up so far completely in vain. At long last he made it and he stood sickly pale on the top of the stairs, his knees feeling like they would give in at any moment and send him to a pile of ghostly white and clammy limbs on the ground.

He tried his best to silence his overthinking mind and headed down a hallway simply lit by candles along the wall. There were only two doors in the entire hallway and only one that was on the left side. Before his mind would regain control again he rushed to the door and knocked three times, swallowing down the taste of wine, cheese, and grapes, in his mouth.

"Who is it?"

Dorian's voice sounded like magic, even as it came muffled through the white and gold gilded door.

"It's me, Inq- Avi. It's Avi."

Heavens, he was pathetic. He had always been a level headed person, had always only cared for his own opinion and not given much care for what anyone else had to say about him. With Dorian around? Avi became the biggest fool he'd ever met.

There was nothing but silence coming from Dorian's room and Avi started to think Dorian was ignoring him, but just as the worry started to eat away further at his courage, the door opened calmly.

_The same capability of speaking and moving as a statue..._

Dorian was dressed down from what he would usually wear when Avi saw him. He wore a soft cotton, creamy white, top that had buckles of canine leather attached to it which strapped across his shoulder and torso and down to his belt. The entire assembly looked as complicated as Avi had found the maze that was Halamshiral to be. Dorian's tan skin appeared even richer in contrast to the light fabric of his clothes, which in turn made his already bright eyes appear even brighter. Avi wanted to retract Dorian's voice having sounded magical because his eyes truly looked like they glistened brightly by pure magic as he stared wordlessly into them.

"Inquisitor, what a lovely surprise." Dorian smiled charmingly. Avi ignored the distasteful title Dorian chose to call him instead of his actual name. There were a lot of things Avi was willing to ignore for Dorian. The man could call Avi every name in the book and Avi would probably agree with him at the end of it.

"Sorry if I'm disturbing you." Avi managed to find his words at last. The light of a fireplace inside the spacious suite casted an almost ethereal glow across Dorian, making him appear golden.

"Disturb me, as I'm dying of boredom inside the Winter Palace in one of the most famous cities in all of Orlais, one of the most lively places in the country? Perish the thought." Dorian chuckled at his own sarcasm. "I'm clawing at the walls in here. I'd talk to an overbearing countess wanting to marry me off to her fourteenth cousin rather than stay put in here."

"Did- did that actually happen?" Avi's brows knitted in disbelief. Surely the nobles of Orlais had a bit more restraint than that?

"The people in the gardens last night were vicious whenever you weren't around to repel them. Think I got six marriage proposals in the first hour we were there alone."

"Oh my." Avi couldn't quite believe it. He should have believed it. The nobles of Orlais clearly lived a life he was far from used to. Perhaps proposing marriage to strangers was everyday shenanigans when you played the Orlesian game?

"You can relax. I won't be whisked away from the Inquisition to elope in some secret ceremony." Dorian jokingly assured Avi. "Besides, they only offered marriages to some poor lasses. I think it's known I tend to be more interested in their brothers by now."

There it was, the topic that always swam in the shadows of Avi's thoughts. He never really forgot about it. Sometimes other things would just take priority. It was strange how the gender of those you're interested in could be such a huge thing. It shouldn't matter if Avi loved a man or a woman, but the more he thought about it the more things he realized shouldn't matter in the world even though they did. He still remembered the twist of what he swore looked like betrayal in Cassandra's face when Avi had said he didn't know if the Maker existed or not. Should his believes really matter so? Avi didn't feel like they should, but he had little say in the matter.

"Lavellan?" Dorian called for his attention but it had the unwanted effect of making Avi even more distracted. The way Dorian pronounced his name, even if it it was his lastname, the way it rolled off of his tongue in that Tevinter accent of his, how that tongue curled softly with each letter...

"Inquisitor?" Not Dorian's voice. _Josephine's_. Standing further down the hallway was the ambassador with one of her assistants following closely behind.

Avi looked at her, feeling like a deer under the aim of a bow and arrow. "Josephine?"

"I apologize for interrupting. I wished to speak with Lord Pavus for a moment but, actually, I have more pressing matters to discuss with you, Inquisitor, if you have the time?"

Avi felt a gush of a mild, evening, breeze come through the opened door to Dorian's room. It caught his sent, one that smelled of herbs and spices, and Avi felt defeated by the small yet endlessly large dilemma that he was suddenly facing. How something so small could feel so important was beyond him.

"Of course." Avi answered Josephine unwillingly. He would not tell her he was busy just so he could speak with Dorian. He would rather open a rift and dive graciously through it headfirst than say that in front of both Josephine and Dorian himself.

"Care to walk with me? There are a few things I need your approval of, as well as your opinion. Quite the few people have offered their aid and allegiance to the Inquisition in the short time we've been in Halamshiral. Some would clearly benefit our cause or our troops with vocal support, resources or funding, but others are more controversial." Josephine was starting to walk towards the end of the hallway where both she and Avi had just came from. Reluctantly, Avi followed. He was too much of a coward to say anything to Dorian. In fact, he didn't even look in his direction.

He felt stupid for having thought it was a good idea to go and see Dorian. He was the Inquisitor and the world was being torn by rifts both left and right. How selfish did he have to be to think it a good idea that in the middle of this he would try and find, what..._ love?_ He felt like he needed some sense beaten into him. He should seek out Sera later when he got the chance. She would probably agree to punch him in the face without asking why.

He should have listened to what Cole said. _Dorian didn't want to hear those words_...


	2. Sweet Mornings

He woke up by a loud knocking on his door. He shot up in his bed, his heart feeling like it had stopped entirely. The rays of the pale sunrise stretched inside his room through the thin, white, curtains, that flowed peacefully in a breeze so subtle he wouldn't have known it was there if the curtains had not moved with it.

"By the creators!" Avi stared with wide eyes into the air before him and slammed a hand over his bare chest to make sure his heart was still beating. It jumped back alive and galloped wildly.

"Hey boss, you want some breakfast?" It was Bull's thundering voice that followed the loud knocking. Avi should have figured.

"I tried to get him not to knock so loudly, just saying." Varric's voice accompanied Bull's, stating which team he was fighting for at the very least. Avi tried to appreciate the thought behind what Varric had attempted to do, but his racing heart and the numbness in his fingertips made it difficult.

Avi wrapped the thin fabric he'd slept under—looking just like the curtains in the room in all honesty—and held hem about his waste. His bare feet crossed the cold floor and he unlocked the door. As soon as the sound of the lock clicked, Bull opened the door with a kick of his knee. The door flung towards Avi and revealed Bull in the opening, carrying a large tray of food. Varric and Krem stood behind the brute of a man. Varric looked hopelessly humored whilst Krem looked humorously apologetic. Krem seemed sorry for his boss' blunt behavior whilst Varric only seemed to find it amusing. Avi questioned if Varric truly was on his team. He'd have to talk to him later to see where the dwarf's loyalty truly was.

"Bread, cheese, baked... _things_, fruit... We've got it all, boss!" Bull marched inside the room.

"Sure, come on in, why don't you." Avi tiredly waved a hand inside the room even though Bull had clearly already entered. He tightened the grip of the covers clinging to his waste. He wasn't expecting a full party to barge into his room. He would have gotten modestly dressed otherwise to minimize the risk of completely exposing himself at the very least.

"Sorry, Inquisitor." Krem apologized as he walked past with the hints of a smile on his lips. Despite his apology, the warrior clearly seemed amused by the situation.

"Didn't know those tattoos of yours went down further. Nice." Bull smirked at Avi as he sat down the large tray on a circular table in the middle of the room, pushing aside a vase of fresh flowers to make room until it nearly fell to the floor, stopping just before Avi's heart would cease beating once again.

Avi glanced down at his bare torso where his vallaslin stretched and shaped around his limbs and muscles in a thought-out pattern designed specifically for his body. The woman in his clan who had done the vallaslin had spent quite some time on the design and it showed in the final product.

"Painful as shit." Avi admitted. Bull was quickly preparing plates with food—something that seemed bizarrely out of character for the large Qunari—and he held one out for Avi. He grabbed the plate and retreated back to the bed, sitting on top of it with his legs crossed and the plate in his lap. Just as he sat down he saw Krem reaching a glass of a reddish juice which Bull felt Avi should have. Avi brought the glass under his nose and with a quick whiff could tell it had strawberries in it at the very least. Knowing Orlesians, it probably had a heap of other exclusive ingredients in it.

"You staying at the inn too then?" Avi asked Bull before biting down on some bread baked golden which Bull had hastily smeared some marmalade on. Avi couldn't put his finger on what the marmalade was made of, but it was brownish red and sweet and not at all bad.

"Josephine suggested we stay here when you and her came back here last night. Think she said something about me claiming a chair and keeping a tab open for two weeks straight wasn't good for the Inquisitions image, or something. I don't remember exactly."

"Not strange after all the rounds you bought everyone last night." Krem said before biting into a red apple, leaning against a small area along one of the walls that wasn't occupied by fancy paintings or some other decor.

"Didn't hear you complain." Bull fired back, the two laughing after. Krem's brows tensed at the laughter however. If Avi was to guess he was experiencing the effects of last night's merriments. Bull seemed skillfully unbothered.

"Think Ruffles can relax a bit more if she knows where everyone's at." Varric added from where he sat in a luxurious armchair, his feet thrown on top of a footstool just as luxurious as the armchair. Everything in the room was red, white, and golden, to bring a feeling of the chantry. Every cushion was the softest velveteen, every furniture polished ivory white, and every intricate metal work on picture frames, furniture, and decor was glittering golden. Avi wasn't a chantry man, but saying the room wasn't gorgeous would be plain lying.

"Ha!" Bull laughed loudly, his mouth full of cheese. "Sera hasn't stopped moving about since we got here."

"Believe me, Josephine is _painfully_ aware." Avi interjected. "She begged me to talk some sense into her when we spoke last night. I tried to explain that Sera isn't the kind of girl you can tell what to do or not do, but I don't think Josephine could grasp that someone was as wild-spirited as her."

"That boy, the one who's always looking down from the top floor of the tavern back at Skyhold..." Krem began but seemed to loose his thoughts, a common thing for people to do when the subject was Cole.

"Cole." Varric filled in the blank for Krem. "Yeah, he's hard to keep track of, but he doesn't get into too much trouble and, if he does, people don't tend to remember it anyway."

"Cole?" Avi tried, looking around in the room. The large city was particularly confusing for Cole with so many people always around him, so he'd seemed to stick close to either Avi or Varric as often as possible since they had arrived.

"Yes?" Cole stood next to a dresser by the open balcony doors. Avi tried not to think about how long he could have been standing there, if he had stood there whilst Avi slept for example, but blissfully ignored the thoughts as they sprung to mind.

"Hey kid, how are you?" Varric welcomed Cole warmly like he always did.

"I am well." Cole stated matter-of-factly with that distant look behind his hidden eyes. "I helped a young boy bury his cat in the gardens. An old woman was too embarrassed to ask for the way home. She can't read the signs anymore."

Avi started blankly at Cole. It was far too early for him to try and comprehend anything that came out of that boy's mouth.

"Sounds like _fun_..." Bull grunted slightly. He didn't like what Cole was but he was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, trying to accept him. The fact that Bull was willing to do that showed a great kindness in the giant, a kindness that Avi truly appreciated.

Varric cleared his throat to break the growing silence. "So, what's on the agenda today? Look for the place with the best ale? Conquer another tavern and drive out the patrons so we can have the place to ourselves?"

"Think we're making some progress with the tavern we are currently at, are we not?" Avi pointed out. There had been plenty of Orlesians when Avi walked past Bull and Krem last night, but when he returned later there were more Chargers occupying the establishment than there were non-Chargers.

"You've got a point." Varric tilted his mug towards Avi in agreement.

"The Charger's been promised new equipment. Josephine thought we should be refitted with new armor now that we're part of the Inquisition. We need to be at an armory south west of here in an hour to give our measurements." Krem stepped away from the wall and leaned towards the table. He put his apple on an empty plate and grabbed some sort of oblong pastry dipped half-way with chocolate before retreating back to the wall.

"My boys, moving up in the world!" Bull cheered proudly, mouth full of more food.

"I'll come with you. Might get them to fix the strap to my pauldron. Damn Venatori snapped it last night so now it's all loose and dangly..." Bull muttered in bitter resentment towards the Venatori spy that had gotten a blade a bit too close to Bull for his own liking.

"You think they can fix boots? Mine are becoming thin from all the walking I'm being forced to do." Varric gave Avi a look of accusation that practically said _'yeah, I'm talking to you'_ even though Varric never opened his mouth. Avi parted his lips to defend himself but Bull beat him to the conversation.

"Come with us. The more the merrier, as they say."

"The more the _scarier_ in a place like this. You have any idea what the nobles are going to think of a Qunari, a dwarf, and a band of mercenaries sauntering through the city? Ha, I have to come along just to see their faces." Varric laughed at the mere idea of the nobles looking ready to soil their pants.

"_'A Qunari, a dwarf, and a band of mercenaries'_... That's a damn good start to a joke. You'll have to work on that one, Tethras." Avi raised his glass of juice in some sort of toast, feeling himself becoming more awake as the food reached his stomach and his sense of humor started to come back to life.

"See, this is why you're useful to have around, Lavellan." Varric pointed a piece of bread at Avi from across the room. "Your inquisitive senses always kicking about."

"Glad to know I can be of service."

"You coming, kid? Think you could do with being real for a while." Varric stood up and looked over at Cole. Cole quietly reminded Varric how he was always real but it was too quiet for Varric to hear. Bull shoved some last-minute food into his mouth as Krem walked up behind him, pushing the large Qunari to try and get him to leave the room. Bull didn't budge but eventually gave in to Krem's persistent pushing and headed towards the door.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Bull." Avi said whilst debating whether to get up from the bed, eventually settling on that he needed to lock the door behind them once they left. He groaned in effort as he dragged himself out of bed once more, his bare feet starting to hate the cold floor of his room. Krem just managed to push Bull past the threshold when Avi got to his feet, Varric and Cole patiently waiting for the doorway to clear out of over two meter tall, hungry, qunari.

"You want to escape Josephine or nobles later, just find me and I'll happily steal you for a couple hours." Varric grinned at Avi as he motioned for Cole to head on out the door. "I'll say I've got some important contacts from Kirkwall that need your attention or something."

"Varric, always the man with the plan." Avi shook his head hopelessly but smiled nonetheless. Varric never failed to cheer him up, or anyone else for that matter. It was a talent Avi was quite envious of. He had always just had the talent of making people confused. A Dalish mage fighting for the righteous Inquisition started by the left and right hand of the Divine with a mark on his hand from a Tevinter magister using an Elven relic... The only thing Avi gave people were headaches and questions he didn't have answers for.

"Catch you later, Inquisitor." Varric saluted before following after the others. Avi leaned out in the hallway for a moment, seeing them walk past the Inquisition guards at the end of the hall by the stairwell leading down. When they were out of sight Avi retreated back into the room, closed the door, and twisted the key in the lock. The room felt strangely silent from how chatty it had been just moments prior, but the moment of peace gave him a chance to collect himself after Bull practically having scared Avi awake; an effective but not very pleasant way to wake up.

He brought the power of the Fade into his palm and let his hand softly hit the center of his chest. Pale turquoise flails of magic seeped under his skin, rejuvenating him from the inside out. It was a simple spell that he used almost daily.

A mage he'd met on the way to the Conclave had thought him the spell. They had gotten on the same carriage in Amaranthine, both heading for the Conclave to see its outcome, and they'd shared the journey for most of the Coastlands until the mage had encountered some friends of his in Highever and they had parted ways. The roads had been bustling with life then, people from all over Thedas gathering for a single event. The city of Amaranthine was filled with people from all over the Marches. Accents from a dozen cities clashed in the markets as people prepared for the long journey across Ferelden. The merchants had thrived on the passing travelers, making the market more alive then Avi guesses it had ever been.

Highever has been just as lovely, and the small town of West Hill, even. Avi had never been to Ferelden before and with his low standards from living with the Dalish, the towns and cities of Ferelden seemed fit for kings and queens. It wasn't until he came to Orlais that he truly grasped how simple his Dalish life had been. He liked that he had that perspective that a humble upbringing results in. He would never have appreciated the luxuries of Orlais if he'd been raised amongst them.

The door knocked and seemed to trigger Avi to roll his eyes like a lever to an automatic contraption. Whatever Varric or Bull had forgotten to say could surely wait until later, could it not? Avi just wanted a moment of peace and quiet in the morning and he felt it was a reasonable thing to ask for.

He sulked across the room, twisted the key with a quick jerk of his wrist, and pulled the door open abruptly.

"What?" He groaned and let his fluttered eyelids open. His body froze as he gazed out in the hallway.

"My my, you didn't have to dress up just for me." Dorian smirked, not even trying to hide his eyes wandering over Avi's body. "Or I guess you've dressed down, really, but who cares about the details?"

Avi glanced down, noticing the white fabric having slipped dangerously low on one hip, showcasing where the dark hairs leading down from his navel spread wider and the V shape of his torso grew more narrow. He quickly pulled the covers up higher and clutched it so tightly that the skin over his knuckles strained white. Dorian snickered, causing a burning heat to crawl up Avi's chest, up his neck, and not stopping until it reached the very tips of his slender ears. His sensitive hearing picked up on his heart which was suddenly galloping like a wild horse in his chest once again.

People really needed to give him a break or his heart would collapse one of these days.

"I'm sorry I thought you were-"

"The Bull, Varric, or Cole, _yes_, I saw them on the way up. Talking about boots and scaring people. A rather bizarre bunch, I will say. Anyway, quite the fancy room you have here." Dorian then wandered through the doorway casually as if he had been invited inside. Avi panicked, becoming far more aware of how undressed he was with Dorian around than he had around the others just minutes before. Dorian just strolled through the room however, taking it in.

"Did you need me for something?" Avi stuttered out, tightening the fabric wrapped around his hips until he swore he could have heard it tearing under the strain.

"Oh, I thought I'd steal a moment of your time. You came to see me last night, after all, but was stolen away by the Lady Ambassador before we got a chance to talk. Really, it's I who should ask if you need me for something."

_I do need you._

"I just wanted to make sure that you were alright with being here for so long. Here in Halamshiral, I mean."

_Could Dorian stop looking at Avi's almost naked body with that smile?<7i>_

"Make sure I'm alright spending a fortnight in a city where I could have someone peel grapes for me like they did back home if I wanted to? Where every doorknob is polished gold and my bed has at least a dozen pillows in it? Yes, I do believe I am alright with such a thing." Dorian chuckled. It was a ridiculous question Avi realized, but it had also just been an excuse he'd told Varric and Sera for going to see Dorian. With his plans to ask Dorian out for dinner ruined, he might as well use that excuse on Dorian too. He needed to have some explanation for why he'd come to see Dorian the night before and, with his courage gone, he resorted to false excuses like he always did.

"Well, that's good, then."

Dorian's eyes narrowed and his lips stretched into a subtle grin that Avi found anything but comforting. "So, you came all the way to the Winter Palace to ask if I was alright with spending two weeks in the Winter Palace?

"I-" Avi's mind fell blank. "Yes?

"You know, these past few weeks you've seemed to lack quite a few words whenever we speak, you and I. When we first met you had plenty to say. I remember back in Haven when you would shower me with questions and debates almost on the daily." Dorian reminded him. "Now our conversations always seem to lack that luster that they used to have."

"I'm sorry. There's always so much going on, and here at Halamshiral..." Avi stoped himself from speaking further. Even he realized how extraordinarily bad that excuse was. He had had just as much to do in Haven as he did after, yet their conversations were clearly not the same like Dorian had pointed out. Avi wished he could just pull himself together and not freeze solid whenever he was around Dorian. Unfortunately, that seemed easier said than done.

_"Inquisitor..." Dorian began. The change in Dorian's tone made Avi completely ignore how Dorian referred to him by his title again, what he hated when anyone called him by it. The man sounded worried almost. Avi looked at him, concerned._

Dorian met Avi's yellow eyes with his own steel ones. "Ever since we met with my father, since I told you why my father and I are on bad terms, you've seemed... _different_. I don't mean to accuse you or insinuate anything, but it feels like you've not wanted to speak with me since then. If who I spend time with troubles you I am sorry-

"No!" Avi couldn't even let Dorian continue talking such nonsense. He interrupted him, causing Dorian to stare at Avi in surprise. "It's got nothing to do with that. Well, it does, but it doesn't. You can be with whoever you want to be with Dorian, I would never judge you for it."

"_It does but it doesn't..._" Dorian recited what Avi had just said, brows furrowed in confusion until they started to soften after a few moments and realization seemed to strike Dorian. Avi felt his left hand itching to open a rift so he could dive through.

"I'm sorry if I've made it seem as if I didn't wish to speak with you because of who you choose to be with." Avi apologized quickly in hopes that Dorian would simply accept the apology and be on his way.

"The Inquisitor, the famous Herald of Andraste..." Dorian smirked devilishly. Avi had never wanted to disappear so badly. Maybe if he tried to think really loud, Cole would hear him and do that thing he does where he appears invisible.

"I'm-" _He was what?_ Avi didn't have a clue what he had planned to say. His mind stood still at the same time as it was spinning out of control. He didn't know how to handle such an absurd situation. It was one he thought he would never end up in.

Dorian suddenly walked closer, and closer, and it felt like he wasn't going to stop until he walked into Avi. He stopped just short of collision. With him so close, Avi's nose filled with the aroma of exotic spices that followed Dorian like the smell of salt did the ocean.

"You know..." Dorian started, his voice low and velvet smooth. "A lot of things make a lot more sense now."

Dorian moved past Avi, their arms brushing against each other, as Dorian headed for the door like everything was normal and closed it behind him. Avi felt light headed and just then realized he had stopped breathing. He inhaled deeply and let it out sharply.

"Sweet creators..." Avi dragged his free hand over his face, feeling warm and clammy all of a sudden. He begged he was dreaming and that everything that had just happened was just some scenario constructed by his brain. He knew it wasn't a dream, but that didn't stop him from trying to convince himself that regardless.

_What was he going to do now?_


	3. Gifted Sorry's

Avi wandered around the market, his nimble fingers laced together behind his back. It wasn't the market he usually visited in Val Royeaux, the one he'd visited when he encountered the Templar's for the first time. This market was larger and far more busy. It was the one to the east, the one Josephine had recommended he visit whenever he found e chance. It had market stalls where noble men and women sold their finest goods and it had stalls where more common folk sold everyday wares and produce. Avi, Scout Harding, Vivienne and Cassandra walked through the crowded square together and admired the many things for sale around them. Avi was pretending not to know Sera who ran about like a silly child back in Ferelden, yelling and pointing at things she found bewildering or amusing, but it was difficult to distance himself from her when she kept yelling Avi's name from across the market whenever she wanted him to look at something. Nobles all around stared at her with so much disapproval it showed clearly even from behind their masks and large, overflowing, clothes.

"Maker's breath..." Cassandra looked tiredly as Sera ran into a man carrying rolls of textiles in his arms. The rolls fell to the ground and started to unwind, pedestrians caught off guard by the collision not being able to stop themselves from stepping on the fabric and leaving footprints on the fine silks and velvets. The man waved a fist towards Sera and cursed in Orlesian all whilst Sera was skipping away, bursting with laughter.

"She's quite something." Scout Harding laughed nervously, unsure what she could say about Sera's personality without being offensive. Of course, Harding was unaware that no one in the Inquisition's inner circle cared about choosing their words carefully when it came to Sera. They all knew all to well what she was like. There was no point in sugarcoating it.

"Quite childish, pathetic, and degrading, I believe you meant to say, my dear." Vivienne looked in Sera's direction with just as much disapproval as the nobles around them did. Cassandra glanced at a market stall they passed which sold beautiful necklaces and rings and bracelets, small gems held tightly by molded of gold and silver, chains both wide and slender catching a small breeze and glittering in the light of the midday sun. Her fingers itched to touch their smooth surfaces and polished engravings. Maybe she could buy herself a small pendant? She could hide it under her armor and no one would know she ever bought it.

Avi caught a glimpse of staffs beautifully arranged in a blooming display upon a wall behind a merchant. Serpentstone, dark oak, obsidian... An array of colors spread out in the metals of the delicately crafted scepters. It was a tad bit surprising to see staffs sold so openly, but Avi was too captured by them to think much of it. He approached the stall, Cassandra and Harding following him when they noticed him breaking free from their little group.

The staff pointing straight up in the middle caught Avi's eye especially. It was gold like volcanic arum. It clutched a blue crystal of lyrium in a strange formation that bloomed from the staffs top—like the gold had been molten and then poured into water to harden again and the shape it formed had only been softened down after. From the middle of the staff and down to the end were leather wrappings that looked to be dragon hide. Where the wrappings ended a gilded blade peered out, a white and shimmering sliver of some pearlescent material seated in the middle of the blade.

"Inquisitor, it is my pleasure to serve you today." The merchant bowed deeply as he greeted Avi in his heavy, Orlesian, accent. "As well as you, Madam De Fer and Lady Pentaghast."

The Orlesian's ability to distinguish people and know who they were was something Avi found just mildly unsettling.

"Fancy yourself a new staff, Vivienne?" Avi gave Vivienne a warm smile. The two saw eye to eye on very little, but she was a woman who he respected deeply and a woman he would very much prefer to be on good terms with, for his own well-being if anything.

Vivienne hummed thoughtfully and stepped closer to the selection of staves. She inspected them thoroughly before holding out an open palm towards the merchant. "The one made of silverite with white embellishments."

The merchant quickly brought down the staff Vivienne had mentioned and placed it in her open hand. Vivienne used her other hand to softly drag along the staff grip. Even a few steps away Avi could feel the quiet hum of magic. She twirled it skillfully in her hands a few times before hitting the crest of it to the ground. A burst of icy particles fell from the staff like a light mist and tumbled to the sun-warmed stones on the ground.

"Could I take a look at the one in the middle, the one made of volcanic arum?" Avi asked to the merchant whilst Vivienne was still evaluating the staff she'd asked for. Avi was given the golden staff and felt a tug of the Fade when he gripped it, a heat spreading out to his fingertips due to the origin of the material the staff was made of.

_Dorian preferred fire magic._

Would he really buy the staff for Dorian? He could hardly speak to the man. Could he truly give him a gift? There was always the option to give Dorian the staff without Avi being there to give it. He could have someone deliver it to Dorian's room. Avi wouldn't even have to mention that the staff was from him if he didn't want to. Still, the sudden idea of buying Dorian a gift felt exciting. He'd never given the man anything. Dorian had came to Avi once and asked if a requisition could be put in on Dorian's behalf for some new attire. Avi had simply recommended Dorian to see Josephine or Harritt. Would a sudden gift be so outlandish? Avi didn't think it would be but he started to doubt himself the more he thought of the matter.

"It is an excellent staff." Vivienne concluded at last, eyes roaming the staff still in her hand.

Avi nodded. "They both are."

"They're really pretty." Harding added, her cheeks flushing when Vivienne gave the young dwarf a brief look after the simple comment.

"What would you want for both of them?" Avi turned to the merchant again who stood and hungrily watched what could turn into a good affair.

"For you, Inquisitor, I give you the excellent price of five hundred gold for both of them."

"Five hundred?" Cassandra erupted, appalled by the price. "That is absolutely mad!"

"They are staves of superior quality, Lady Seeker. I would usually charge them for twice the price that I gave you, but I will make a deal for the Inquisition as a sign of gratitude for your work." The merchant had a sleazy tone Cassandra despised, probably more than she despised Varric's and his occasionally sleazy behavior. She could tell already that the merchant was only out for money and would not sleep worse at night if he got that money by ripping off his customers. Someone who could live with themselves after doing that was someone Cassandra would have an issue with, regardless of who they were.

Avi glanced at the staff in his hands once again. He imagined Dorian holding it, spinning it around him like Vivienne had to collect wisps of magic before channeling them into scorching flames, the light of the fire casting their glow across Dorian. It was a terribly wonderful image his mind formed.

"It's alright, Cassandra." Avi assured the Seeker. He had the money for the staves. He had gathered quite a lot since joining the Inquisition and so seldom found anything to spend it on. Avi reached for the coin purse tied to his belt. He wanted to buy the staves, even though he knew they were highly overpriced.

_Dorian would like it._

"Here." Avi reached his hand towards the merchant with the money.

"Reduce a few sovereigns, Inquisitor." Vivienne intervened before Avi could drop the money into the merchants greedy hands. Vivienne brought her old staff from its grip on her back and handed it to the merchant. The man fumbled to grab it before it fell whilst Avi took back ten sovereigns, a sum he found fair for the staff Vivienne had given up, especially after hoe much the merchant charged for the new staves. With Vivienne's old staff sold, Avi gave the merchants his money at last. The man thanked them for their business before they moved away from the stall, much to Cassandra's approval.

"Thank you, my dear." Vivienne held a gracious hand on Avi's shoulder and planted a kiss into the air by his cheek. "A most wonderful gift."

"Overpriced, but the merchant seemed correct about their quality, at least." Avi glanced between the newly bought staves.

"Typical of Orlesians, I'm afraid. You grow accustomed to it after some time." Vivienne brought her new staff to her back, letting it rest in the small and discreet holster there where it remained secured. Avi carried the new staff he had bought in his hand since his own one occupied his back already. He was just thankful that his friends hadn't questioned why he too hadn't sold his staff. He'd rather save himself the ordeal of explaining that he bought the staff as an impulsive gift for Dorian.

"Too shiny." Sera suddenly made her way back to the four of them after yet another sweep of the market. She glanced at the newly bought weapons for just a moment. "I got an apple. Way better."

"_Got it?_ Did you steal it or did you buy it?" Cassandra's brows lowered as she waited for Sera to answer.

"I'm not a thief unless people deserve it, oh mighty Seeker!" Sera altered her voice childishly. Scout Harding stifled a chuckle.

Cassandra's brows impossibly lowered even further. "And did the merchant with apples deserve to have an apple stolen?"

Sera bit back a grin. "Perhaps." Before the young girl bounced off.

Vivienne turned back to Avi with a dead stare. "I would berate your choice of companions, my dear, if it would not so unbecoming to do so after just having been given a gift..."

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

"White... no, red!" Avi's eyes lit up before his expression dropped dramatically. "Oh this is pathetic..."

Cole looked down at the table from under his hat, his legs crossed as he sat on top of the dresser in Avi's room "Silk on satin on velvet... The red ribbon would look nice."

Avi found himself in Cole's company once again. He spent quite a lot of time with Cole. He'd found himself doing it a lot more recently, so much so that he was starting to almost enjoy the company of the strange boy. He was difficult to converse with but the compassion of his nature was always welcome.

"Right, red it is..." Avi sighed deeply. _Would he ever get over it?_ The stumbling and mumbling and speechlessness? He found it difficult to imagine himself being anything but a clumsy fool when it came to anything involving Dorian, whether it be thinking of him or standing before him. He would have it easier talking to Corypheus than he would Dorian. Thinking about it, Avi had had it easier talking to Corypheus than Dorian.

"Dorian will like the staff." Cole informed Avi, joy evident in his voice, reflecting the joy he knew Dorian would feel. "It looks like a staff he saw once at a ball home when he was little. He really wanted it."

"That's good, I suppose." Avi sighed again, reminding himself that he needed to cut down on the sighing if he didn't want to seem so theatrical.

Avi tied the red ribbon around the staff he'd wrapped with a halla hide which he had also found at the market earlier. It hid the staff and was secured by the messy ribbon. It wasn't a beautiful presentation and could and should probably have found someone in Val Royeaux to wrap the gift for him. Avi kept forgetting that Dorian came from noble upbringings, something that should have been near impossible with how much Dorian spoke of his life in Tevinter. Avi suddenly looked upon the gift he'd been so happy with and felt it was far too inadequate for Dorian's lavish lifestyle.

"_Shit_..." Avi fell back on the end of the bed, hi shoulders slumping in defeat as he blankly stared at the gift on the same table Bull had brought in breakfast that morning.

"You worry that it isn't enough." Cole spoke from on top of the dresser. Avi couldn't tell if the boy was asking him or telling him.

"He's used to fancier things, Cole." Avi tried to explain, hoping Cole would understand. "He's used to the kind of life people live here in Val Royeaux. I'm just an elf from a Dalish clan..."

"_Horrible south, I hate it._ There here are good things here, too." Cole gave Avi yet another one of his confusing little ramblings that were coughed up every now and again. Since they'd came to Val Royeaux, the ramblings had become more frequent. Avi guessed it was because of how many people suddenly surrounded Cole with all of their thoughts.

Avi looked at Cole, wondering how much of what he said actually applied to Avi and how much of it were the words from some complete stranger somewhere nearby.

Could Dorian really be so shallow that he wouldn't like the gift simply because of how Avi had wrapped it? Avi was starting to question himself for even worrying over such a thing. When did he become such a worrying mess? Before the Conclave he had been a fierce mage, coming to observe the Conclave from the outside to see what the mages and templars would settle on. Then the Conclave had succumbed to the explosion that granted Avi the mark on his hand and he had started running across Ferelden, hand first, and faced demons upon demons, and when he ran out of demons he battled squabbling apostates and templars, unbothered. He met Dorian along the way, and things were fine, but then they had met Dorian's father.

"_I prefer the company of men. My father disapproves._" Cole said it just like Dorian had said it back in Redcliffe... _Of course he did_. Avi usually didn't mind Cole poking about in his thoughts but he really wished the spirit would have stayed out of his head just then.

How could that sentence change Avi so much? Sure, Avi had only met a few men in his life who Avi had known to prefer men, but even thought he didn't know every man that was attracted to other men, he knew they existed out there. They were just quiet about it. Most were. Whilst it seemed Ferelden, Orlais, and even the Free Marches were more open to relations between the same genders than Tevinter, it was still not as widely accepted as the relationship between men and women. Finding out that Dorian liked men shouldn't have been a big thing, yet it was bigger than Avi had words for. Calling it colossal or gigantic still did not seem to do it justice.

"Your worship?" A light voice came from outside the door after a few knocks. Avi rose from the bed, grabbed the wrapped staff and the folded note he'd written earlier, before heading towards the door. In the hallway outside stood a dwarven Inquisition scout.

"Lord Inquisitor." The dwarven girl bowed her head. It seemed Avi's begging to Josephine to have people treat him more casually had not spread around like Avi had hoped.

"Thank you. Like I said, just bring this to Dorian Pavus. He is at the Winter Palace, a room in the gardens." Avi handed the gift to the scout and stuck the folded note in her hand as she awkwardly carried the large package.

"Of course, your worship." The scout bowed her head again. "Right away."

Avi closed the door once the girl left. Cole was still on top of the dresser. Had the height of the room been more normal, Cole's large hat would have been touching the ceiling.

Avi tried not to think about how Dorian would react to the gift or the note he'd sent along with it. It was almost infuriating how conflicted Avi was with Dorian. He wanted Dorian's attention and he wanted whatever Dorian had to offer in terms of relationship, whether it be friendly or more than friendly. At the same time, Avi wished he never needed to talk to Dorian again and make more of a fool out of himself. It all boiled down to Avi being scared. Terrified. What if Dorian rejected him? Not only would it close to ruin Avi's hope of finding love, he was pretty certain, but it would ruin the friendship he and Dorian had. He could never walk through the rotunda again without becoming so tense he'd feel close to bursting.

Avi tried to make himself believe the obvious truth; Dorian was a kind and charismatic man, albeit a tad flamboyant and self-centered at times, but that was part of Dorian's charm. If Dorian wanted nothing past friendship with Avi then Dorian would act like the grown man he was and tell Avi just that.

"Courage clawing, clashing. _I need to be myself again_." Cole tilted his head, his fingers moving over the gold carvings in the wood at the top of the dresser.

Avi looked up at Cole who had been his only company for hours at that point, his expression showing a certainty that had sizzled to life somewhere deep within him. "I do."


	4. Red Ribbon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter, mostly a filler from Dorian's point of view.

Dorian skimmed through the pages, finger loosely trailing after where he was reading. The heavy, leather-bound, book laid on the table before him in the large library. Much to Dorian's surprise, the Winter Palace library was void of people. He figured they had other things to focus on, with the Grand Duchess having planned to assassinate the Empress and all. Dorian enjoyed the peace and quiet of being alone, however. With the majority of Val Royeaux giving him long glances of disgust or swearing in Orlesian at him just for being from Tevinter, Dorian found the lack of company more to his liking.

"_Dalish have what are known as Firsts. They are the first born mages of a clan that study under the clan Keeper as apprentices. Should there be more than one mage within a clan, the mages after the first will be traded with other clans that lack mages or they will often be abandoned to their own devices..._" Dorian read from the book about the Dalish he'd found in a section about culture and the different races. His brows knitted together tightly. "How could they just abandon someone for being a mage?"

Dorian was fully aware that he was alone in the library and that he was talking to no one but himself. Every now and then he heard the guards in rotation in the Hall of Heroes, their metal boots and intricate armors clanking and echoing up to the open library. The quiet steps of servants leaving the servants quarters could be heard from time to time as well, but besides guards on duty and busy servants, Dorian was alone.

Dorian looked over at an illustration in the bottom corner of the page. It was the depiction of the dark silhouette of a small, elven, child, with a little flame burning in their hand, standing before an open door, surrounded by darkness as if it were nighttime. The open door cast a light—which was the reason for the dark silhouette of the small elf to begin with—and in the door opening stood three, giant, what was probably humans, with swords in their hands. A rather dramatic but intimidating image. Dorian found himself imagining Avi as that child, standing by that door with large, scary, humans, looming over him after his own family, his own clan, had simply left him. Dorian knew Avi had not been abandoned. Avi was what the elves called their First, and Dorian knew that completely, yet the hardships of the Dalish life touched a soft spot in his heart and he imagined Avi having to go through them.

Humans attacking his clan, him and his friends being wounded and some undoubtedly killed in the altercations through the years. The seasons passing through and long winters where he had to sleep out in the wild, never being able to rest easy with the threat of predators or enemies... Dorian wouldn't survive a month. First time he would need to bathe in an icy cold river and he would be done for, that was if a hungry wolf hadn't eaten him first or the guards of some pesky noble claiming to guard his land hadn't shot Dorian in the head with a bow.

The heavy doors of the library's north side creaked open, letting in the low sound of distant chatting from the vestibule. Dorian looked up from the book to find an Inquisition scout, a young dwarven girl, carrying a long package. Dorian simply raised a brow and watched her stumble with the large package in his direction.

"Gift for you, Lord Pavus." The scout said in a tone far too chirpy and cheerful for what Dorian deserved, out of breath.

"_Gift?_" Dorian's one brow stayed raised. "From whom?"

"The person asked I not name them but that you read the card attached." She explained, putting the package upon the table where he sat and neatly placing a folded paper on top of it.

"Thank you." Dorian rose from his chair. The scout started to walk back the way she came, leaving Dorian to the gift he had suddenly been given. He walked around the table to where the package was and snatched the card into his hand, curiosity eating away at him already. He opened it, finding rough but intelligible writing stretched across the entire paper.

_ **Dorian,** _

_**I am sorry for writing to you instead of speaking like I should, but words have been something I lack of lately, as I'm sure you have noticed.**_

_**I want to apologize for giving you the impression that your preference of men had something to do with me not talking to you like we used to. That was never my intention, I promise you. In all honesty, I was stunned by the truth. I never thought to find someone like you in the middle of all of this. I'm sorry for how you've been treated. It was unworthy of me and unjust towards you. I will do better, as you rightfully deserve.**_

_**Today I visited the eastern market. I found this staff and thought of you. I hope you like it. Perhaps we get to test it on some Venatori?**_

_**Avithiel Lavellan**_

Dorian stared at the note. He wasn't sure whether his silly heart wanted to sing with joy, whether he wanted to snicker childishly at remembering Avi's full name was in fact Avithiel, or whether he wanted to continue staring blankly at the paper. Doing neither of those things, Dorian put down the card and grabbed the lovely, red, ribbon tied around the leather wrap—supposedly containing a staff—and started to tug it loose. He unfolded the hide to reveal a golden staff, slender yet sturdy with strips of white dragon scales wrapped around the grip. A gilded blade with white embellishments formed at the end of it, a large shard of pale lyrium encased in the strange shape at the top which Dorian thought looked like a swirl of water, frozen in time.

Dorian let out a short breath, his lips loosely parted, completely baffled. It looked so similar to one of the few staffs Dorian had ever really paid notice to, that he actually remembered. He had been taken to a gathering of his father's, back home in Tevinter when Dorian could have been no more than ten years of age. Important magisters had been mingling all over the place, discussing the brilliance of their country most likely, but for some unknown reason the staff of one of his father's associates had stuck out as much to Dorian back then as Dorian did to everyone in the south. He'd been so captivated by it that he had asked his father for one the morning after. His father had said no, told Dorian he would have to prove himself worthy of such a staff.

_Avi thinks I'm worthy of it._

"That romantic bastard..." Dorian cursed, a smile slowly stretching his lips until he showed teeth. He lifted staff in his hand, the cool metal warming to his touch and a warmth hidden in the core of it. Dorian used spells of fire a lot and of course Avi had paid notice to that even though Dorian cast fire usually when ago was busy casting spells of his own. Dorian should have known nothing would escape the sharp eyes of the Inquisitor. Nothing escaped that man.

"You ought to think of your language, dear Dorian."

Dorian's heart nearly stopped beating for good after having leapt up to his throat for a moment. Walking down the southern stairs of the library was Vivienne, her steps gracious as she eyed Dorian carefully.

"Sweet Andraste, _**you**_ ought to warn a man of your presence." Dorian breathed sharply, trying to make his heart calm it's frantic drumming.

"Had you not been so awestruck by the gift from our darling Inquisitor, you would easily have heard my heels on the marble floor." Vivienne smiled in a way that made her look uncharacteristically devious. "I never would have guessed he'd give that staff to you instead of keeping it himself, especially not when he paid so much for it. You should value that gift dearly."

"I believe I'm more than capable of appreciating gifts, First Enchanter." Dorian fired back, sounding more obviously defensive than he would had liked.

"I'm sure you are, my dear. I simply hope you let our Inquisitor know of that appreciation." Vivienne slowed her methodical steps by the table Dorian still stood at. "You two seem quite fond of each other, no?"

Dorian felt a heat rush to his cheeks like he was a young boy again, smithen by some handsome, young, man, he'd gone past. Should things like who he liked really cause him to blush so? As a grown, capable, man, Dorian felt like it shouldn't have.

"He is the only one in Thedas who can stop the madness that Corypheus has created with the mark upon his hand and the man is using it to do just that. Of course I'm fond of the man who's saving my life, as well as yours and everyone else's."

"I think we are both quite capable of distinguishing an appreciation for the Inquisitor's work and efforts, and a fondness for him as a character." Vivienne gave Dorian a sympathetic look Dorian wished she could shove where the sun didn't shine. He didn't sympathy and most of all he didn't need it from her. She had no business in what Dorian's feelings for Avi were.

Dorian felt the heat in his hand grow slightly warmer, realizing his annoyance had caused the magic within him to heat his new staff, no warmer than the sun warmed a smooth stone. Embarrassed by his lack of control, even though that lack of control had gone without Vivienne's notice, Dorian quickly placed the staff on top of the leather hide and pulled the grey leather over the staff to conceal it.

"I know you see me as a wolf, out to find my next prey to sink my teeth into, but I'm not as heartless as I present myself, Dorian." Vivienne began, standing as tall as she always did.

Dorian looked at her, lost as to where the discussion was going.

Vivienne took a small step closer and lowered her voice slightly, her eyes lowering for but a moment before going up to meet Dorian's again. "Do not deny a flame simply because it is a small one. All fires start from the strike of a match. To light the fireplace and get warm, someone needs to be the one to strike that match, my dear."

The First Enchanter started to walk away just as graciously as she had entered. Dorian followed her silk-clad back with his eyes as she too ventured towards the vestibule, like the courier had.

"You're awfully sappy for someone who's earned herself to be called _the Iron Lady!_" Dorian called out after her, hating the feeling of pity she'd left behind her and the words of wisdom she'd given him. Vivienne used a subtle wisp of force magic to open the door without having to touch it herself. She walked out of the library as if Dorian had never called her sappy to begin with.


	5. Invitation

_ **Dear Lavellan,** _

_ **How very kind of you to give me such a stunning gift. Truly, I am quite speechless. You needn't give me expensive gifts to ask forgiveness over such silly little mishaps, however, especially not when there is nothing you need forgiven. Of course, I would be a liar if I claimed not to enjoy being sent gifts by strapping, elven, men, so do not stop on my account.** _

_ **I was planning to visit the Royal Botanical Archives, later. They are not open for the public, unfortunately, but a quick enquiry to the Empress's Ladies-In-Waiting and the Inquisition's handsome Altus have been given access. How quaint, that the Empress of Orlais grant a mage of Tevinter entry to such a place. Almost makes me want to bring my staff, just to make the botanists a bit weary. Perhaps I should bring my new one you so conveniently gave me?** _

_ **I'll be there later, around six. Please join me, if you find your schedule empty.** _

_**Yours,**_  
_**Dorian Pavus**_

Avi rested his chin on his thumb, his index holding up his cheekbone and his middle finger pressing against his grinning lips. It was a position he found himself in sometimes when happiness seemed to overwhelm him. He wasn't like Sera, who would jump about and laugh freely whenever she was happy. Avi was more reserved—always had been—and just couldn't be as free as her, not even when he was alone. It was even more challenging to allow himself to show that joy over something like Dorian's letter.

A frisky joke from a half-drunk Bull or one of Varric's captivating tales from his Kirkwall days? Avi would laugh at that with ease. Dorian inviting Avi to something as exclusive as the Botanical Archives after Avi had sent Dorian the staff, asking forgiveness for being so cold towards the man for the his sexuality? That was something completely different.

An arrow buried into the polished teak of the expensive table on the terrace. Avi stared at it, not surprised by the arrow but surprised by how it hadn't even managed to make him flinch. Had he really grown that used to Sera's antics?

Avi folded Dorian's letter and put it inside his tailcoat as Sera dropped down from the roof of the inn with her bow in hand.

"Hey you!" She beamed with the usual friendliness that Avi had made sure he had earned. It had taken time and some effort on his part to earn her friendship. Avis being an elf and Sera hating elves certainly hadn't helped. He had been dead set on being friends with everyone in the Inquisition for a long time. When he had first knelt to the ground from the crippling pulses from the breach, when Cassandra had knelt before him, told him that the mark was killing him but he could be the key to stop the horrors he was witnessing in the sky... Avi had known as early as then that he needed every friend or ally he could get.

"Hey you." Avi mirrored, giving her a smile he hoped was not too telling of what he'd been smiling at just moment prior to her dropping in, quite literally.

"Varric's coming up, but he's slow." Sera dislodged the arrow and dropped it back into her quiver. Avi almost asked why she'd shot in the first place, but then he remembered who she was and decided to leave her reasons a blissful mystery.

"I think you're just very fast, and I think you take shortcuts which partially include trespassing." Avi pointed out. "Plus, Varric isn't the biggest fan of walking, so he does it at his own pace."

"I think he's just too embarrassed to admit that his little dwarfy legs are starting to hurt cause he's getting old."

"Don't let him hear you say that." Avi chuckled. "He'll rewrite you in his books and turn you into a noble."

Avi barely had time to blink before Sera's now swatted his upper arm and left a sharp sting underneath his cotton sleeve. He clutched the area where she'd hit him before slowly looking back up.

"Ouch." Avi said with somewhat of a chuckle still.

"Don't say stuff like that!" Sera spoke with a warning tone. "He'll get an arrow in the foot if he ever turns me into some pesky noble."

Her face of anger twisted into disgust at the idea, an expression which made Avi have to stifle another chuckle. Just a few moments passed before a knock came from the door inside Avi's room, one which Avi responded to with a confident _"come in"_ since he already knew who was knocking. He listened as the door was opened and as padded footsteps crossed the floor inside. When the footsteps stoped, a disheveled Varric appeared in the opening of the glass door that lead out to the terrace.

"Took you long enough." Avi tilted his head back to give Varric a smug look.

"You're faster than you look, Buttercup." Varric ignored Avi's snarky comment and instead pointed a finger at Sera, heaving out of breath from what Avi could only assume was from climbing the stairs to reach the top floor. "I'll give you that much."

"Have a seat, dear Varric, and rest those bones of yours before you drop dead." Avi laughed and patted the empty chair where Varric had been sitting just a couple days earlier. With Sera around already, all they needed was Cole to appear out of nowhere and the set would have been recreated.

Varric started talking about how he'd been spending the morning with Leliana and her scouts to send some inquiries to the Carta. Varric had apparently been mock-offended at first with the Spymaster wanting his help to speak with a group of criminals, but Varric's skill in writing and his ties to the Merchant's Guild were no secrets to anyone, especially not Leliana.

Avi found himself lost in his thoughts, however entertaining he always found Varric's stories to be. Instead his mind wandered to Dorian's letter as he felt its edge rest against his abdomen behind the cover of his coat.

_What does one wear to the Royal Botanical Archives?_


End file.
